


Beginning Unending

by McKayRulez



Series: Mal Doran McKay [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1, Stargate Universe
Genre: Bonding, Episode: s02e15 Seizure, Episode: s05e06 The Shrine, Episode: s10e20 Unending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Rare Pairings, Regret, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Reflection, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-04 19:45:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5346350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKayRulez/pseuds/McKayRulez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Vala and Daniel have a fight, an emotionally wrecked Vala runs off and ends up crashing into a certain socially awkward Scientist. Reflecting on themselves and the past, Rodney and Vala realize they have a lot of things in common.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginning Unending

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after SG-1 and SGA end so Atlantis is on Earth.  
> Sort of a tag/ what if to "Unending", if the scene between Daniel and Vala played out in the normal time line and left off on a bad note.  
> Episode mentions: SGA: "Hide and Seek", "Tabula Rasa", "The Shrine". SG-1: "Beachhead", "Dominion", "The Pegasus Project", "Family Ties".

Vala was staring at Daniel at a loss of emotions that where in turmoil inside her. He was angry at her, and she wasn't sure why. He had practically snapped, chewing her head off, and all she had asked was a simple question. After his ranting had started Vala could tell he was focusing more on her now then just venting at her.

"Do you think I could ever actually feel anything for you?" Daniel asked sternly. 

"I.. I don't know what you mean Daniel.." Vala answered wearily. 

"Well I don't! How could I?! We're completely different!" Daniel started. He waved his arms out in exaggerated explanation.  
"I try to be reasonable. I try to see all sides of the argument and respect all views and all life. I try to help people. You on the other hand." 

"What, what about me?" Vala asked, then winced wishing he wouldn't say what he was going to say. 

"All you care about is yourself! Me! Me! Me! 'I'm bored!', 'Can I kept the treasure?', 'Where's my share?' It's always money and greed with you. Stealing and manipulating situations to benefit yourself. You're a con artist! A thief! And above all you're a fruitcake!" 

Vala turned away from him. Not sure how she could counter that. It was true wasn't it? At least on some level. She didn't mean to be selfish anymore but it was just so easy... 

"With all of that on a personal level, how could I ever trust you? I'm not even sure why we're even working together now to be honest!"

Vala held her arms. She could feel tears starting to form. "Am I really so horrible?" 

"Yes!".. Daniel snapped then took a few seconds to take a breath and tried to rethink where he was going with this conversation. 

Vala lowered her head and played with her lip with her teeth, keeping herself from crying. 

"I mean.. You're not that.. Bad.. What I mean was you're bad for me Vala." He touched his chest. "You have too see that right? Never in a million years would I have ever thought that you and I-" 

Vala headed to the door, cutting him off as she rubbed her leaking eyes. 

"Oh don't pretend like you're upset." Daniel criticized harshly. 

Vala winced at his bitter, uncaring tone. She couldn't believe what she had been hearing. Daniel had never seemed like this before. So angry and mean. He really did hate her, she concluded, while she had always thought of him as her best friend. She decided she wouldn't listen to him yell her ear off and put her down like dirt anymore. She wouldn't cry in front of him. He didn't deserve the satisfaction. 

Vala went out the door and made her way down the hall. Once she was past the bend, out of view from any of the prying eyes of the few late nightshift crew, she broke into a run. She wanted to get to her room as fast as possible, as she realized she couldn't contain her tears anymore. Tears streamed down her face, wet and cold against the air of her speed. She was huffing and puffing but she refused to stop. She was close now, just a few more turns... She went around and-

*THUD!*

She felt herself smack hard into something solid and fall over along with it before she could see what was happening. 

"Hey watch where you're running, fumbles McStupid!" A voice sounded in her ear, annoyed and loud.  
....  
Vala kept her head down. She was too tired and too upset to pick her head up. She also knew chances where she would be even more mortified and humiliated to look at whoever she had ran into and he would see her crying. Vala's shoulders shook as she tried to keep her sobs as muffled as possible but it was difficult. 

"Hey." The voice said again, worried this time. A hand followed awkwardly patting her back. "Look.. I'm sorry.. Did I hurt you?.." 

The voice sounded warm and caring in her ears. Vala buried her head down clutching at what felt like fabric in her hands. She gave up fighting it and fell into her sobs. Not caring how loud she was anymore. She just needed to cry. 

~

Rodney gazed down at the woman who had run into him. She was laying on top of him crying. Originally, he was pissed off when he had hit the ground. His head hurt bad and he would have complained her ear off about it like he did with anyone whenever something happened to him, but her reaction instead worried him. First, she hadn't gotten up and he thought maybe she had fallen unconscious, but then she started crying and that lead to his hypochondria to go into hyper drive. Had he hurt her that bad? He gazed over the woman. She was slim in size, especially compared to his size, which meant he might have indeed hurt her in comparison. Worry started to flood his brain. Did she break something? Is her spine okay? No no, he was the one who landed on his back, and she landed on him her spine should be fine.. Maybe she dislocated something? 

He had tried to ask her if she was okay but got no response.. In fact her crying only got worse.. Rodney wince warily as he patted her back lightly. He wasn't good with people crying, let alone a woman crying.. Even women not crying was hard enough. He looked around. The hallways around them where empty, it was late, most people where asleep by now, so he doubted anyone would show up any time soon to help. He sighed. He looked back at the woman. There was nothing else he could do. 

"What's wrong?" He frowned, when he still got no response but tears. "You know..." Rodney started, he lifted one of his hands waving his fingers.  
"I can fix the impossible.. So you can tell me what's wrong. I can fix it... As long as it's not medical voodoo related." Rodney stated hoping his half hearted attempt at his ego would lighten the mood, or at least annoy her so she would finally get off him, or at least say something.

The woman finally, slowly picked her head up. Rodney recognized her finally as he saw her face. He had meet her once before when SG-1 visited Atlantis..  
He frowned. "You look terrible." He stated bluntly, then winced as he realized this was one of those bad times to speak down to someone. 

"Ha, ha." Vala replied weakly in sarcasm. "Thanks for that assessment." She whipped away at her tear stained eyes.

"Sorry.. Stating everything is just something I do." Rodney muttered, looking away. Then stopped, wondering why he said that out loud, then rolled his eyes when he realised he just did what he just said. 

"Oh really? Well I think I've had enough of that type of thing tonight." Vala started sitting up on Rodney. 

"What do you mean? Did someone say something to you?" He asked, realizing maybe this whole run into each other thing wasn't why she was upset. 

"I don't really want to talk about it.." Vala replied, looking away. 

"Well obviously it was something really bad for you to be so upset..."

"Oh, just you know... Best friend puts you down, rips you apart-"

"Wait- What?"

"- But it's all true isn't it? Every word Daniel said was true. I'm a con artist, a selfish thief, a liar, crazy and untrustworthy." Vala stated, tears threatening to start again.

"No." Rodney stated, his eyes distant, as his mind raced at a fast pace, processing and thinking over what he just heard. 

"No?" Vala looked down at him confused. "Yes, it's true I'm-" 

"Not that anymore." Rodney cut in. "You where those things. You aren't anymore." 

Vala stared at him, surprised. "How would you know? You don't know me." 

"I've read all of SG-1's files. Your change in your actions proved it." 

"You can't just judge what kind of person I am just because you read a few reports.. I never even wrote mine.." Vala countered. 

"I know what it's like to join the action. To be part of it. This community changes you. I know this cause it's happened to me." 

Vala looked at him uneasy yet intrigued. "Like what?" 

"I was pretty selfish too.. Still am but.. Less so I'll admit.." Rodney's fingers flexed. "But one of the first things I did for the expedition was put my own life on the line to save the expedition from an energy being... That was something I never would have expected from myself. To sacrifice myself for others but I did, and still do." 

His gaze turned and looked deep into Vala's eyes. "You did the same thing with the Supergate." 

"I.. I didn't think I would survive." Vala replied honestly. Rodney nodded back in understanding.

"I had read you also came up with the idea to mess with your own memoires to try to get Adria back. That.. That must have taken a lot of bravery." 

Vala nodded watching Rodney's reaction. His eyes seemed strained, and his breathing was more noticeable. "I.. I knew it was the only way, I was quite brilliant tho but yes, it was painful, with my altered memories.. I thought no one cared.." Vala bit back sadness. "And you?" She asked slightly worried for him. 

Rodney blinked and shook his head, clearing the memoires from his mind, he looked back into Vala's eyes. "I've.. had things mess with my mind quite a few times.."  
He shook his head. "Never voluntary though or to serve some noble purpose..." His eyes drifted about, fingers dancing about agitated. 

Vala suddenly grabbed his twitching hands and held them in hers. He looked back at her suddenly startled. She didn't know why she had done that but they just wouldn't stop moving. She looked back into his eyes now that she had his full attention. "Tell me about it." She asked, feeling better that she wasn't focusing on her own unhappiness. 

"The first time.. It was a virus.. Kirsan Fever.. I had forgotten everything.. I was ill and crazy pill poppers where after me... It wasn't so bad once it was over really.. Maybe made me go hypochondriac on minor illness after that for a while but nothing major..." 

Rodney's blue eyes slid away from hers again. His fingers struggling to wiggle in her hands. 

"However the other time.." 

He stopped again. His face looked pained. She stroked her thumbs over his hands. "Go on." She encouraged, she was curious now. 

"The next time was horrid.." He looked back at her, he had started shaking. "I felt myself loosing everything I had ever known. Slowly. Painfully. Everyday to every hour, my memories would slip a little further! There was no way I could stop myself!"  
Ache filled his chest." There was nothing I could do.. All I could do was just.. Let it happen... My whole life.. Gone..." He added quietly. 

Vala gazed down at him sadly realizing there was people going through a lot more then she was and dealing with it better then her hurt feelings over words. "I'm sorry.. That is horrible.. I can't imagine.."

"And that's the problem.. I can." Rodney's breaths came out harder. "Even without it affecting me anymore I still.. I still have nightmares about it.. That I'll just slip away and never realize it." 

Rodney's internal pain became more evident. Vala let go of his hands and laid back down against him. She held him, unsure of what she could say.  
"Is there anything I could do to make the nightmares go away?" She asked quietly. 

Rodney's eyes widened at the embrace. He wasn't use to physical contact like this. He looked back down at her. "I... I don't know...." 

Vala shrugged against him. "Well.. I'm sure there's something we can do... Maybe the internet can help?" She put in. When in doubt she could find anything there. 

Rodney stared at her amazed. No one had ever seemed to care about how he dealt with his psychological issues before.. Most of the time, if not all of the time, people would usually just make fun of his problems.. Like his hypochondria and allergies where just jokes. To be honest, he was even still hurt at John, Sam and Cameron, for them never apologizing with the lemon threatening. He didn't understand why they where so careless with it around him. He was deathly allergic, but what did they care.... Or those times when people would just force him into stressful situations, not caring how much pressure they weighted down on him. How much that constant stress affected his health...  
But she cared?... Why?...

"Uh.. Thanks."

"Mmm hmmm."

"Why... Why do you care?" He asked intrigued. 

"I guess.. Maybe it's cause I've brought horrible evil into this galaxy.. So it's time I bring in some good deeds." 

"Horrible evil?"

"Adria." 

Rodney closed his eyes. "Family issues?" 

Vala nodded. "I think that qualified to the extreme of family issues.. Not to mention my scoundrel of a- Jacek." 

"Mmmm. I know." He sighed. "Families are tough huh? My parents weren't that great either.. Always blamed me for everything.. and my sister and I had a hard time." 

"Jacek would just betray me, time and time again...." She sighed. "Even when I had just started to trust him.." Rodney nodded back. 

After a while of just laying there soaking in the unfamiliar silence, Vala got up slightly, to her knees and arms just hovering over him. His eyes scanned over her in a flattering way. She grinned. It was kind of nice to be looked at, without it just being a tease. It had been a while.

"So.. Are you feeling better now?" Rodney asked trying to get back onto topic as he shifted slightly. 

Vala thought about it for a moment, and judged her own emotions. "Yeah.... Think so." 

Rodney nodded. "Good." 

"Sorry about running into you." 

"Oh, uh no problem.. It was nice to finally talk to someone who actually wants to listen to what I have to say." Rodney stated. 

"Oh hmmm? What sorry?" She grinned at his brief disappointed reaction. "Just kidding." 

Rodney gave a half smile back. "Oh haha." He stated sarcastically as his eyes continued to look her over. 

She stared into those blue eyes and then looked lower at his lips. She leaned in and caught them with hers.  
His eyes shot open startled, but then he closed them and went along with the kiss. He made cute little noises as they kissed. 

She backed out of the kiss, gazing at him, and then leaned down lower, against him again, her eyes lit up as he smiled at her. 

"So.. You don't find me horrible and unattractive?" Vala asked preparing herself for a rejection. 

"Of course not. Anyone who would say that about you is either blind or stupid." 

"Well, Daniel does wear glasses..." 

"His loss then." Rodney replied, shifting around. 

"So we could... Try this?" Vala asked. Wanting to be sure that she wasn't getting the wrong idea. 

"We could." Rodney agreed. 

Vala looked down at his chest. He wasn't the most attractive man she'd ever seen, but he was more unique then most people made him out to be.. Most of the things she had heard from people was simple things like he had a huge ego and his intelligence was one of the brightest.. Just one dimensional stuff.. But maybe he was more then that.. A part that he didn't let anyone else see.. It intrigued Vala and she wanted to look for that, but more so because he understood her. He didn't even really know her outside of reports before, but he had understood her better then anyone had before. 

Vala ran her hands under his shirt to pull it off but he placed a hand over hers to stop her. Vala's face fell. Maybe she had read him wrong like Daniel. McKay just smiled at her. 

"Maybe we should wait until we're..." He looked over, motioning around them. "Somewhere that's not a public space." He raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Not that I'm offended. I'm flattered that you're so eager." That's a first... 

Vala's looked around taking in there location. It hadn't really thought about it until now. She turned back to Rodney with a smirk.  
"Now isn't that an interesting idea?" She grinned dangerously.


	2. Beginning Transitions

The next day, Vala walked into the mess hall with a feeling of a weight lifted and a smile on her face. Her night with Rodney had been helpful and she wished she could spend the day to get to know him better, but unfortunately McKay had the morning with Woolsey in some IOA meeting about the Destiny. So it was back to same old, same old for Vala. 

She automatically looked for her team's usual table, only for her smile to fall as she caught sight of Daniel and the more negative memories flooded back.

Luckily, Daniel's nose was buried in a book of some strange language, so he didn't see her. She wasn't sure how their reunion since the awkward fight would go, and it made her suddenly un-hungry and she had no urge to find out his response quite so soon. She started to turn back when she caught peripheral sight of Daniel setting his book aside for a bite of breakfast and noticing her in the process. Vala steeled her nerves as Daniel's eyes kept on her and she realized much to late, she had stopped moving. Her realization of her stubborn feet's resistance to veer away arrived when he stood and made a bee line for her. She knew there was no backing out now, else she look vulnerable and pathetic and Vala was not a pathetic woman by any stretch. No. She was stronger than this. Stronger than his sting full words. 

"Vala, can I-" Daniel's words faltered as he lowered his head and breathed a deep sigh. 

"Can you what?" Vala replied unemotionally. Suppressing as much as she could. It was a little bit easier now. The night after the fight had given her more time to recover.

Daniel put his hand on her shoulder. Vala flinched slightly but Daniel didn't notice as he was looking around the mess hall inhabitants that might be ease dropping. Rumors were always quick to spread in such a small close knit facility. "Can we talk.. Alone?"

"Why? So you can yell at me again?" Vala blinked feeling prickles in the corners of her eyes. Ugh.. Why did Daniel have such a pull over her?

"No, no.. I.. I'm sorry. Can we just.." Daniel gestured out the door. "Just for a minute."

Vala crossed her arms and took a moment before responding. "Fine."

The two walked out and into Daniel's lab. He closed the door behind them. "I.. I want to say I'm sorry."

Vala stared at him and he stared back. The silence stretched on shortly but it was enough for Daniel's heart to ache.

"And?" Vala finally asked.

"And.. And I know you try hard.. Try hard to not be.. Well 'yourself'. And I.. I shouldn't have been so harsh on you.. I know you're trying."

"Trying." Vala repeated numbly. "But my 'trying' isn't worth anything to you apparently."

"No, no. I just.." Daniel raised his arms and lowered them defeated. "I was just caught off guard okay? I didn't expect That I.. I would ever have feelings for someone like you."

"It's fine Daniel." Vala shook her head and headed back to the door. "You just feel bad about last night."

Daniel shook his head but guilt was written over his face. "No. It's not just that I-"

Vala cut him off "You're just saying these things to make me feel better. Because you're a kind person, Daniel... A different kind of person than I am."

Vala walked out and Daniel called "Vala!" after her but she walked away. Daniel was left pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head feeling a strange inner turmoil he wasn't expecting over the thief. Had she stolen his heart when he wasn't looking? He wondered jokingly.

"Daniel?" Sam's voice was heard as she was walking through the corridor and went up to him, concerned at his defeated and guilty look. "What's wrong."

Daniel shook his head. "A lot... Sam.. I messed up bad."

Sam nodded confused. "Want to talk about it?" Daniel nodded ruefully and Sam gently led him back into his office to lend him an ear to listen.

~

Vala wandered by herself for a bit. Needing some time to think and some space. She returned to Sam's lab hoping for some comfort but found it empty. When Rodney arrived in the lab shortly after, he unfortunately was no comfort as well. His slant frown and eyes said all that it needed too about his day as well.

"The IOA said no?"

Rodney shook his head. "Bunch of bureaucrats don't know genius if it was standing right in front of them, Oh -" Rodney raised a finger and shook it, blue eyes wide. "And it was. In the shape of me." Rodney shook his head and whined. "I dumbed it down and everything for them too."

Vala gave him a sad sympathetic smile. "Well.. At least you'll have less boring work?" She tried.

Rodney's eyes slide over to hers. "Actually no... They're having me use the telepathic stones today.. I wont get back till tomorrow." Rodney cringed.

"A day?.." Vala pouted and she ran her hands over Rodney's arms. No she defiantly wasn't thinking of Daniel she mentally told herself as she appreciated McKay's suit... "Curse this planets limited genepool." She muttered to herself. Why did all the males have to look similar? 

"What?" Rodney blinked confused and Vala shook her head, as she ran her palms down his chest and making sure she was looking at his face. HIS. And not thinking of Daniel's. 

"Nothing, you were saying?" 

Rodney shivered but she couldn't tell if it was from her touch or if it was from his topic of choice. 

"The thought of someone controlling my body... It was bad enough with Cadman sharing my body but without me being there at all!"

"It.. Is a bit creepy when you put it that way.." Vala tried not to think of her own experience with the device, or the time she was a host.. 

"I know! What if they ingest citrus!"

"I think that's the least of your problems, McKay." Cameron chimed in as he strolled up and leaned on the lab door nonchalant with his breakfast. Obviously expecting Carter but finding another lost member of his team who hadn't shown up for breakfast. Where was everyone else? He wondered. The thought would have to wait until he got his chance to mess with the arrogant scientist first,.. before he poisoned Vala with his personality, he mentally reasoned.. 

"Actually it is a big problem! Despite what you and Carter think of my DEATHLY ALLERGY, Colonel! I WILL AND CAN DIE FROM IT!"

Cameron shrugged and continued. "I just meant.. What if the person who takes your body hates you.. I mean you don't have that many friends McKay.." He smirked deviously. "They may take the opportunity to.. humiliate you..?"

Vala looked between the two slightly curious and entertained. Rodney's face turned from one of annoyance to one of startled cowardis. Eyes widened in fear. "Oh.. Oh my.. You're right."

Cameron's grin grew as he took a bite of his food. "Oh, I know. I would have."

Rodney shot him a look and started to head out the door, only turning just before leaving remembering Vala and walking back to her and placing his hands around her arms, much to Cameron's confused stare. "I got to request that it's Rush that takes me, he's not such a bad guy. I'll see you afterward Vala."

Vala smirked as she took hold of his suit and pulled him closer to her. "You better. I know your Earth customs of dating from the TV, so I expect dinner and a movie when you return."

Rodney's eyes widened at her impressive strength holding him to her as well as her boldness. "Ah yes." He flushed. "Right. Tomorrow.. If I don't die." He added warily. His face turned to dread as he looked at the floor. "Which I probably will..." Still afraid of the loom of neon yellow lemon citrus coloured jello cup in Cameron's tray, and the unspoken threats in Cameron's death stare that he could feel behind him. 

Vala eyes ran over Rodney's suit once more in appreciation before giving him a kiss and releasing the red faced, flustered and afraid scientist who scurried away from Cameron's sight but also looked quite pleased at the kiss.

Cameron's eyes narrowed. Vala stared after Rodney's fleeting form before returning Cameron's gaze. Finally he broke and laughed. "Nice one V but I think we need to work on your trolling skills a bit."

"Trolling?.. Sorry?" Vala blinked confused. 

Cameron frowned. "You were teasing him."

"No I wasn't."

"You were."

Vala crossed her arms. "No.. I'm pretty sure I'd know if I was."

Cameron looked confused. "Then.. what was that all really about with you two?" 

Vala smirked proud. "I believe I asked him on a date."  
Cameron's eyes were shocked as he followed her out the lab pulling her back around. "You can't be serious."

"Very."

"With that arrogant little prick?" 

"Oh he's not so bad.. Besides.." Vala grinned mischievously. "Trust me, it's not that lit-"

Cameron brought his hand up stopping her not wanting to head to a TMI conversation with her, expercially about McKay of all people... Or how she even knows what si- No! Not thinking about it!

Cameron's eyes shifted. "I know you like..-" Vala tilted her head to the side curious where he was going with this. "Excitement and new things and flings.. But.."

"It's one date. I didn't say I'd marry him."

"I know it's just.. What about Daniel?"

Vala's mood and face fell and Cam took a step back noticing the pain that flickered up.

"There's nothing there."

"Really, because I thought-"

Vala shook her head and walked off. She needed to find Sam and get her mind off of him. No Daniel.. No.. Maybe if she begged Sam enough she'd take her shopping again.. Yeah.. That would be fun.. And maybe a new dress to match a certain scientist's suit.. For their 'date'... Yeah.. That would work...


End file.
